


First Heartbreak

by Lokisgame



Series: New Life [12]
Category: The X-Files
Genre: AU, F/M, Kidfic, Light Angst, what if
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-10-07 10:27:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10358277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokisgame/pseuds/Lokisgame
Summary: Nobody forgets their first love.





	

He knows fear, fear is blue, mom and dad are blue sometimes. When they are blue, someone usually ends up in a hospital.   
He knows anger, anger is gray, the color of smoke and it smells like cigarettes.  
Happiness is different for everyone, but still unmistakable, it's when people shine the brightest, for mom it's sunflower yellow, for dad it's something between orange and red, the closest thing being Em's hair color, and as he suspects mom's as well.   
He doesn't get how it works, but he accepts it. He's lived his whole life like this. In time the colors fade, blur and mix as he starts to better understand emotions of others. He knows them because he sees them. He feels them, other people's feelings. 

Mulder found Will curled up on the couch. Usually he was doing homework in his room right after he got back from school, took after his mother that way, but today textbooks littered the coffee table in front of him. He must have gave up on them a while ago, because on tv Han Solo was trying to blast his way out of detention block AA23. He was hugging a pillow and watching Star Wars. Again.   
"Hey buddy, what's wrong?"   
"I can't stand it up there"   
"Your room?"  
"Emily's. She had a fight with Lucas. Again."

The swing had seen better days, but it's the one place she liked to go where no one bothered her. The slow sway back and forth, as mindless as cracking of sunflower seeds and spitting shells under her feet.   
He found her there, invaded her refuge unaware of the silent agreement they had at home.   
"Why did you run away?" Lucas asked sitting next to her "You think I want this?"  
Emily hung her head, hiding behind a curtain of hair. She knew it wasn't his fault. Salt from the seeds burned her lips, burned the feeling of his kiss. She wanted to forget.   
"Go away" her eyes burned as well, her throat almost closed.  
"Why?" He reached for her hand but she quickly pulled away.   
"Just go"   
"We still have a month, Em." A month, their sentence. "I don't..." his voice broke   
"Tomorrow" was all she could say, she needed time, she needed her mom, she needed her strength. 

Mulder walked through the yard with every intention of protecting his daughter from whatever pain the boy might cause her, but as the kid walked his way and nodded at him, his eyes red, jaw clenched, unable to speak, he stopped himself. The kid looked as if he was in just as much pain as her.   
Emily stayed in her place, and he walked to her. Her fist clenched around the bag of seeds in her lap, her shoulders trembled with held back tears. Like her mother, she suffered in silence.   
He knelt before her, stoping her from swinging away with his palms on her bony knees.   
"What happened?" He asked, reaching to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, it was growing long, almost reaching her shoulder this year, she'll probably want to cut it again soon, he wondered.   
She looked up at him in that moment and her resolve broke, a hitched breath turned into a sob and tears spilled down her cheeks and she collapsed into his arms, crying and holding on as tight as her 16 year old arms would allow.   
All Mulder could do was hold on to her, hold her pieces together as she fell apart, still oblivious to reasons behind it. Her breath hitched, body trembling, she tried to speak but her voice wouldn't come washed away by wave after wave of tears that shook her. He stroked her back, her head, whispered words of comfort swallowing his own tears. Her pain was his pain, forever.  
He managed to the loose track of time before she calmed and took a shuddering breath, his shirt felt damp and cold when her grip loosened.   
"He's leaving" she said in a small voice, still hidden in his arms,   
"He dumped you?" Mulder tried to take a look at her face but she only hid deeper, hugged him tighter.  
"No, he's leaving, moving to London" she whispered "It's over"  
His heart broke for her and he pulled her closer, the powerlessness, the injustice, it had to feel like the end of the world to her.  
"Oh baby, don't say that" he tried to find words to ease her pain, but his own brain struggled through haze of memories.   
"But it's the truth" she sniffed and pulled away, wiping her eyes with the edge of her sleeve. "I'll never see him again"  
He knew the feelings all to well, each time he came close to losing Scully, it felt like drowning. But Emily was still so young with whole life ahead of her. Mulder searched for some shred of hope she could hold on to, a thread to tie around her heart, to keep it from breaking beyond repair   
"You never know, and even miles apart, you still can be friends."   
All he could do was hope he was right this time, he and Phoebe, his high school love didn't have that much luck, but he couldn't tell her that.  
"He'll forget about me" her lip started to tremble dangerously as he took her sweet face in his hands to look into her eyes  
"No, baby, he won't!" He said with full confidence this time before pressing a kiss to her forehead "Nobody forgets their first love"

**Author's Note:**

> The mentioned Phoebe is Mulder's high school best friend and first love from Kami Garcia's "Agent Of Chaos". If you haven't read the book, give it a try. I fell in love.  
> No copright infringement intended.


End file.
